Starting Over

so its been 11 weeks. 11 weeks since i packed up my stuff from level 34 and headed out of klcc (which i have only visited once since).

its not anything new. i think everyone knows this is what i wanted to be - a-stay-at-home mum. but we had to wait for the right moment before committing. and believe me, its a huge commitment. this year was the defining year, we had amir starting primary school, we learned the difficulty of time management when that happened, shouldering bigger work commitments, clearing off personal loans, it was really somewhat of a 'now or never' decision looming above us. so after many, many discussions, we decided that its finally time.

there was a lot of thought that went into the date of my resignation. i wanted to leave before the school holiday started, of course, so that i wouldn't need to send the boys to daycare during the school holiday. i could also use the time to prepare the school items. last year we didn't plan for amir's school items properly and that led to a lot of missing items and late purchases. i pushed the date a month before school holidays began because i had a lot of projects lined up while the boys were in school.

so, finally, coming back from the long Raya leave, i submitted my resignation letter. it was short and sweet, unlike the decision process that brought me to the point. from then on it was all a blur. 4 weeks came by and went away quite fast and before i knew it, it was almost the end of september.

after 11 weeks, i honestly believe this is the one of the most significant decision i've made in a long time. i do get the shakes when the bills come in, and the 'almost heart attack' come bill-paying time. but at least my boys are with me, at least i get to send them to school and pick them up everyday, at least i know what they are up to, at least i get to prepare their meals everyday, at least its me giving them a bath every morning and night, at least they get to come home before the sunsets everyday and they get to sleep in a bit in the morning before going to school (akmal used to leave home at 6.40am and get home at 8.00pm everyday - no child should have to keep that kind of schedule).

alhamdulillah, i am very thankful for being able to make this decision while the boys are young and while i am still blessed with health to take care of them. the salary that i forego, insyaallah, will come in other ways and  one should never stop praying for rezeki to come their way...