This Is It...For Now

after a week of googling for a good template - my previous ones were too "baby boy"ish, i.e. blue, cartoony - i finally found one that i like. i see a lot of really nice premade ones on the net but there's always something that's just not quite right. either too squashed up, or the picture can be better, or not enough column, or the colour's not it.

then i landed on this. i like the colour, i like the picture of the lady cooking, i like the compartments around the posts, and there's exactly 4 spaces at the bottom of the page for my four boys.

so i'll keep this...for now. maybe i should change the pizza picture, preferably before next Ramadhan.

next up...posts!!

Four Is Enough

i found this entry drafted but not posted. to answer all the comments about us trying to have another during my 'not-working' phase. seriously...do i need to stop working to try? i had four when i was working 'before 9 - after 5' jobs, so why should i stop to have another?

------------ written sometime in september 2009, i think --------------

i loved watching 'eight is enough', 'the waltons' and 'seven brides for seven brothers' when i was growing up. more to see the siblings interaction than anything else - there really is nothing to watch on 'seven brides...' i thought to have a big family was wonderful - the gatherings, the noise, the closeness. on tv is definately different than in real life. running after a child is tiresome, running after 2 is exhausting...running after 3 and being pregnant at the same time is something only a crazy person would do.

we certainly didnt plan for 4. actually i cant confirm that, i'm not sure how many we plan for. i know...the 11 boys story. that wasnt our plan, really. someone voiced that we should aim for 11 boys since both hubby and i love football. then it became our tagline of some sort and we went along with it. did we want 11 boys - heck no!! how could anyone plan to have that many, anyway, and be serious about it.

honestly speaking, our 3rd and 4th pregnancies were not planned. despite them not being planned, i dont resort to (not even think) making it go away. i certainly didnt blame one party for the 'accident' (i know a lot of women do). i pushed both pregnancies aside for a while. i went for check ups, i followed the same rules as i did for my first two but my heart was not totally in it. i didnt hate being pregnant but i wasnt jumping for joy either.

hubby and i have had a lot of discussions of when would be a good time to stop - and we've decided that this would be it. the car would fit 4 car seats, we have 2 arms each - enough for 4 children, we have 2 bedrooms for the boys - each can fit 2 boys. so for us, four is enough.

is the gender of the baby important? i'm not sure how to answer that. i've wanted baby boys all my life. i'm more partial to baby boys than girls. not to say i hate girls (people do like to read between those non-existing lines) but i prefer boys. to have 4 children is wonderful, to have 4 boys is an absolute joy - minus those screaming and shouting and throwing things and crying.

i get slightly (yeah right!) pissed off when people ask me if we feel incomplete with no daughters in the family? seriously...should we? i dont see why we should. i have great love at home, my time is always filled with thoughts of the boys - be it happy, proud, joy, excitement, anger, sad - the boys are forever in my mind. where would i find the time to feel incomplete?

we feel blessed 4 times over with 4 boys to call us parents.

A Whole New World

looking at the blog posting page after...what...a year? i can't remember when's my last entry. i know it was about akmal and probably the one before was about amir & asyraf's party. gosh...that was a year ago! posting looks easier...hence there should not be any excuse for lack of updates, is there?

i wanted to do a record...a record of least posts in a year, that is zero! but ah, KPI is not met.

i actually went to a couple of website hosting sites, to get a dot-com site for myself. but i didn't realize what it would take after payment was made. making payment was not easy, it cost hundreds! then to build and maintain and that's not even the posting. so i cancelled both and went back to good ol' blogspot. unless i can get a good samaritan out there who could do a dot-com site with 10% of what i paid, then that's another story.

for now, i'm changing the template...looking for a nice looking one, then i'll start posting and updating again.

p/s it feels real good to type! and on a macbook pro at that...hah!