Week 8 - First Check Up

good thing akmal was due for his immunization. if not i'd put this off for probably another one or two months.

a check up after exactly six years. back at dr maziah's clinic at dsh. monthly visit for the next 7 months coming up. would be very difficult now with the boys' school schedule and me being at home and no more daycares to leave the boys at while i do this.

i'd probably bring all four with me during one of the visits, when its big enough to be clearly seen, probably around the 6th or 7th month. it'd be good for them to see since they were too young to know what was going on in mummy's tummy the last (three) times.

dr maziah now sees her patients between 10am - 3pm so its a bit difficult to juggle my time. that is probably when i'm at my busiest. post-sra, early lunch for asyraf & ariff, lunchtime shower, then its the bi-sk-sra round from 12.30pm - 2.30pm. this time i went early, around 10am as i had 2 doctors to see. the boys would need to depend on tiza during this first check up. they also got the day off, which they were not too happy with. next time i think i'd probably go after i pick up amir and only give him the afternoon off. a day a month for 7 months would not be too bad, i think.

when we got to the hospital we went to drop off both appointment cards to see where we were in the queue. seeing that we're no 3 for akmal compared to no 5 for me, plus dr maziah had a surgery that morning, we went off to dr azizi's clinic first to get akmal his double antigen jab. he was not an easy patient argh!! we left his clinic and went back to dr maziah and waited there, after a quick detour to the convenient shop as i was already shivering from hunger.

when dr maziah saw me she was surprised, not surprised and shocked, not shocked. she looked at my records and started smiling then she went, nahhhh its ok, you just follow me, i had my fifth after a long break. then we started chatting, basically about how it happened (i stopped taking contraceptive pills because it gave me a migraine), how i knew i should have seen her but felt too over-confident, how she felt its meant to happen, so it'll happen.

she asked me to lie down on the bed to be scanned. and yes, there it was and exactly as i calculated, 8 weeks, november baby, 2 days off the edd. she said all seem to look good, no cyst or fibroid or anything alarming.

we went back to her desk and she became a bit serious. do we want to talk about risks now, she asked. yes, i answered quickly. yes i know of the risk of being pregnant at 40. she was very thorough and very detailed. we need to do tests and we'll get them done at the next check up. she was different from the other 4 pregnancies, as i had very low-key, no trouble pregnancies and normal, but not too easy, deliveries. this time she was very attentive. she gave lengthy explanations, very detailed in her examples and welcomed queries.

akmal and i had a late lunch while waiting for the medication and bills but managed to get home before the evening rush hour began.

so there, the start of my monthly visits. it feels heavier now because i need to put the boys and their schooling on par with my check up. it won't be easy but i'm pretty sure we can manage this, insyaAllah.

Week 7 - Cat's Out Of The Bag

well, thanks akmal. so much for keeping our little finding a secret. it was going so well for a week. until one day, while all of us were watching tv, the word 'november' came on and he blurted out like its the most normal news ever.

so yeah, that started the floodgate of ecstatic happiness from the other three. and followed by millions and millions of questions.

and the next day they came up with these…

Week 6 - Expect The Unexpected

after 6 years, a few scares and hundreds of monthly 'alhamdulillah', the unexpected came. i put it off, for days. i've always been quite in-tuned with my body so i suspected but i put it off. something's wrong, definitely something's wrong, i told myself. i did not tell anyone for a couple of weeks, not even hubby. saying it outloud makes it real and i was not ready for it to be real.

after a couple of weeks, i couldn't handle it any longer and told akmal. i didn't actually tell him, i asked him to pray it wasn't what i suspected. so we prayed together. after 2 saturdays, i made him say the prayer outloud to hubby. for him to know what i'm suspecting. and then i cried.

and i cried and i cried and i cried.

i still waited to do tests. i did the first a week after. either i really didn't see the lines or i'm on a big time denial mission.

i did another test 4 days after that. ok…no words necessary beyond that point.

Akmal Turns Six

i can't believe the little baby i refuse to accept was turning one is now six year old! he's such a baby-big boy. on one hand, he's still being carried around by me, he still sleeps on my lap, he still asks to be fed, he goes around with at least one (sometimes three) soft toys, he's still addicted to his thomas but on the other, he talks like a grown up, he uses big words like 'interesting' 'excellent' 'awesome', he asks really tough questions.

i was just so not up to preparing for his birthday. he's been asking for a frozen-themed cake, more for olaf, but i wasn't planning on doing anything in school. until his teacher sent me a text asking if i was. then i thought, ok lah…final year in kindy and all. but i only made that decision the weekend before his birthday so there was no time to book a cake. on monday, i went to giant, grabbed some chocolates, cookies, small packet drinks and note books for his party packs and got a ready-made cake at kings. for that price, i would really have felt better if i called up for a specially made olaf cake and better party packs *sigh* see…laziness doesn't get you anywhere.

i went to his school about 9.30am, akmal's class would be out for snack at 10am. gave me enough time to put the cake up. i knocked on his class door first to let his teacher know i'll be in the canteen. his friends were all cheering and clapping, excitedly waiting for the cake cutting to begin. when they came into the canteen, they were all happily jumping, they even pulled out a chair for akmal to sit on, sit here, sit here. lovely kids, they are.

the cake cutting was short and sweet. the kids finished the cake, like totally gobbled it up and akmal took back the party packs to be distributed in his class. he was on cloud nine. made me feel extra guilty for not preparing for this earlier. but he was absolutely happy and i guess that's all that matters.

of course a birthday is never complete without dinner at chili's. probably 6 times a year, every year.

he did get a surprise cake, by the way. we were in damansara for pappy's birthday dinner the weekend before. as we were singing happy birthday, we changed the name of the birthday boy from pappy to akmal. needless to say, he was shocked but ecstatic. he got his frozen cake. he went home with the biggest smile that night. i can bet that's why he was ok with the low-key birthday celebration in school.

thanks, adik baby, you're a real joy to have around. you keep everyone on their toes, not knowing what information you'll come up with next. you're our very own dictionary and encyclopedia. i know you love your birthday present!

Amir's SRA Kem

a week after we came home from london, we had to part with amir again. he had to go away for the weekend to a leadership camp (for prefects, librarians and school monitors) with his agama schoolmates. it was very daunting for us, not for amir - he was super excited, but for hubby and me. its not easy to let one of the boys go away for the weekend, and it was especially difficult knowing there's to be a river at the place, albeit a small one.

amir was busy with school exams the few days prior to his camp. so i had to run around preparing his bags and clothes and other necessities. his exams ended at lunchtime on friday and he was to leave for camp after friday prayer so we only had a few minutes the night before to go through the things he would be bringing. i packed everything his teacher had list down plus a bit more - hand sanitiser, plasters, panadol (though we've never given them without supervision before), insect repellent, sleeping bag, 2 extra sets of clothes, extra socks, packets and packets of tissues, wet wipes.

amir wanted hubby to take the afternoon off to send him to school. not content with that he wanted both asyraf and ariff to take the day off from school to send him off too. yes, first born - always thinks he's mega important. hubby did take the day off, i think he wouldn't be able to sit still at work anyway.

we got to school a bit late after friday prayers. we should have gone straight after prayers but we took amir home for a quick shower instead. the bus was to leave at 3pm. we made it to school with only 10 minutes to spare. amir's friends were all boarding the bus. he quickly ran to his friends, leaving hubby to carry his bags and put them in the bus.

i held on to his schedule from the day he left til the day he came back. we missed him terribly and couldn't wait for him to come back. even asyraf said he missed amir and it was no fun without him (disturbing everyone) around.

amir's bus was supposed to arrive in school at 4pm on sunday but we got word that the road was clear and they would be earlier than schedule so we left for school. it was wonderful seeing him after 2 days away. even though he came back with some negative stories about the camp and forgot to bring back his school shoes and slippers and socks, he said he had a wonderful time. maybe we'll be a bit more prepared if there's another camp for him - just for him though, not for asyraf or ariff and certainly not for akmal.

after amir came home, he quickly rushed out for his weekly futsal. i was at home, preparing chili crabs for dinner for amir. needless to say, he slept very, very early that night.