I've Waited So Long

i've been looking at the boxed date on my calendar for weeks! on top of the box is written '13 weeks' in red ink. today is the day i scheduled my 2nd gynae appointment. the last time i went was 7 weeks ago. when i was pregnant with amir, i didnt allow that long a break between check ups. yeah...first pregnancy and everything. people say, the 2nd one i wont be going so often. actually, that's not true. if i could i would go every week. but hubby i and planned for month-end check ups to coincide with gaji masuk.

the first check up i couldnt help it. i really wanted confirmation and to see if its in place (ie nothing abnormal about the pregnancy). so we went early last month. then we said...ok, back to our original schedule of month end check ups. it was soooo difficult to wait. i wanted to see how the baby was growing, how my pregnancy was going. this time around i'm not as energetic. few factors add to that - started working after a year out, juggling an active toddler, distance between house and work place increased, getting older...all these made me more tired (and its only my 3rd month!) i'm also very choosy about food this time, no rice, no mihun, no mee, no tomyam, no soup...more "no"s than "yes"es. i crave for junk food. mcdonalds, burger king, kfc...yum!! i have not had healthy food for a long time. so of course i was worried about the pregnancy and how the baby is doing with all the junk food intake.

we got to the hospital quite late, after 9. not advisable on a saturday. everyone seem to make appointments on saturday. but hubby came back late last night, and he needed the extra sleep. amir was overly hyper. he walked from one end of the lobby to the other, a lot of times! kalah orang tawaf! then he wouldnt keep quiet in the clinic. kept waving to everyone, met a friend who was his age, ate half packet of biskut tiger, then all of the sudden he shocked everyone by doing his "allahu akbar" routine right in the middle of the clinic. amir has a tendency to sujud when he feels the carpet (konon sejadah daddy & mummy lah). then hubby just had to say "amir...allahu akbar ke?" and when he heard that, he sujud again while murmuring...aummm (guess its allahu akbar for him). hubby and i had mixed feelings, proud pun ye, malu pun ye, terkejut pun ye.

alhamdulillah...the baby is fine. i shed some tears on the examination table. the hormones of course. i also got choked up looking at amir watching the scan monitor, then wondering how they will bond. i saw the baby's limbs, i saw his heartbeat and best of all, i saw him jump when the doctor scanned my tummy. she said "ah...another little terror in there! he's already jumping" that almost warrant a bawling! she did bring up the baby's sex but at 13 weeks, its too early to confirm. i know what i am praying for. hubby is trying to keep cool about the sex but i know deep down inside, what he would love to have. amir...well, he's just enjoying being "mummy's handsome boy". the baby's sex aside, i'm just happy that the baby's on track and seem to be doing fine. ya allah ya tuhanku...thank you so much...thank you, thank you, thank you. you have given me so much, i pray everyday that i will bring my babies up as good muslims.
















hubby & i dropped amir off at the babysitter and went to watch da vinci's code. it was a nice, yet confusing movie. we have not gone out for ages and it felt weird walking around without the stroller. halfway through the movie, i turned to hubby and said "i miss amir" then my bottom lip started quivering and yup...i cried! after the movie, hubby and i practically ran to the car, we miss amir so much. i wonder if it'll still be the same when we have 2,3,4 kids. or will we box up dates for time away from the children instead?