What I Want...

answering the some of the questions in my previous post made me wonder...what do i want?

i want my life to be...for the lack of finding an appropriate word...not like right now. there's so many things i want to do for my family. most of them cant be done right now. i want to cook again. i want to enjoy my kitchen (that i paid a bomb for). i want to enjoy my own cooking. i want to see my family at the dining table with me. i want my boys to eat healthy, home-cooked food. and i want my house to be "used".

at the moment, we eat out almost every night. either we tapau or we go to the nearby kedai. not what we would like to do, but that's what we can do. with 2 boys needing our attention, there's just no time for me to cook. we come home late from work, the earliest we get home is 7pm. we then need to bathe the boys, prepare their clothes for the next day, sterilise asyraf's bottles, prepare his hot water, pray, bathe...where can i slot in cooking? not only that, who would look after the boys when i cook? hubby? he's already taking care of asyraf...bathing him and giving him dinner. i wouldnt burden him with amir as well. a maid??? no no no...a million times no. no maid in my house. yes...i know a maid will come in handy but not now. we'll re think our decision not to have a maid in 5 years time.

so i talked to hubby last night. when baby#3 comes, what are we going to do? how can we eat out every night while feeding 3 boys? how can we prepare 3 boys for the night and then rush out to eat, and rush back in time for their bedtime?

this is my goal...not a dream, this is something i've set out to do. and i will achieve this goal. i've given myself until october next year. at that time, baby#3 will be 1. asyraf will be amir's age and amir will be (almost) 4. amir and asyraf wont need much looking after, so we'll only have baby#3 to monitor.

i said to hubby, in order for my goal to work, i need to use the downstairs bedroom. see...we have this bedroom, currently its our ironing room. its where we store our shirts while waiting for the laundry to collect for ironing (we just dont do ironing...). i want to convert this room into the boys' room. i thought of putting in our tv there (currently unused in the living room), and i want to put a nice rug, and a nice cheerful curtain (now its a brown/yellow curtain) and put lots of family pictures (well, that's already half-way done), and i want to bring the boys' toys downstairs and put a small chest of drawers for their pajamas.

everyday when we come back from work and pick the boys up from daycare, that's where they will play. they'll watch tv there, and have their bath in the bathroom next to the room. that will be hubby's task. bathe and prepare the boys for the night. once that is done, hubby and the boys can rest, lepak and watch tv. i'll cook and monitor baby#3. this way, most of what i want can be achieved. the boys will have good home-cooked meals, we can stay at home at night instead of rushing to go out all the time, and the unused areas in my house will finally be used.

i really cant wait for this. i know it can happen sooner but at the moment, its not 100% possible yet. hubby hasnt really settled down at his new place yet, and asyraf just needs constant monitoring. looking after asyraf alone is tiring enough, with amir's "mummy nak...daddy nak..." we just cant settle down yet.

what i'm excited about is, when we found out we were expecting baby#3, the first thought that entered our minds was...can we cope without a maid? we still cant open our home to a maid just yet. after thinking this through, and looking at this possibility, i'm happy to say that, yes we can...we can cope without a maid. i'm proud of that fact and i would like our maid-less house to continue as it is right now.

p/s we can also solve our "mots" problem upstairs as someone wont be muching on his "kut" in the family area anymore...