i think a lot of people know this by now...we dont have a maid. the statement still brings about surprised gasps from people but i dont know why it should, really. there's a lot of people with no maids nowadays. i think half of my married friends are maidless, so i personally dont find our decision shocking.
maybe because of the number of children we have (
plus their gender) that people naturally assume we should have a maid around to help. surprising as it may sound, the only time we ever seriously considered having a maid was when amir wasnt even born yet. after that we never thought of getting one anymore. after asyraf came, then ariff...now baby no4, it just all became a routine that it gets easier to manage.
bathtime? all in the bathroom at one shot...
mealtime? all fed from the same bowl at one shot...
naptime? all...all over the room (
some on the bed, some on the mattress, some on the floor) at the same time...
sleeptime? all at the same time everynight...
hubby and i have gotten our individual tasks (
almost) perfected. we know what each other is supposed to do and we know not to get in each other's way. of course now everything gets in my way and i'm so irritated by it - its as though the house, especially the kitchen, is not big enough for me to walk in but that's another story.
i guess the main thing in making this work is to not expect a lot. the house may not be spotless, the table may not always be lined with food, the boys may not always be fresh-smelling, the clothes may not always be washed and folded (
eh...sorry, they always are!) but its good enough for us.
another is to find help where and when you need them. for us help is in the form of the daycare to help out with the boys on our days off and when we work late (
they are a god-sent!), my sister to help when we need to go out at night (
very rare) or when we need a breather on weekends (
she would take amir for the day, soon it will asyraf too), the weekly cleaner to help make the house almost spotless, the dry cleaner to iron clothes as i seriously do not do that task. other than that, hubby and i are pretty ok handling things on our own.
it also help to tell ourselves, things are not smooth-flowing and it shouldnt be. there are times when we make mistakes, there are times when we yell a little too loud because we're just too darn tired, there are times when the boys have a boo boo because we cant watch all 3 at once, there are times when we just couldnt get up in the morning, there are times when we wish we had a maid (
especially when it comes to dirty diapers and for that moment of peace so that we can enjoy our dinner), there are times when the boys are just too difficult to handle we just feel like running away (
or hide behind the doors, eh dayang nolie?). there are times like those but they pass by. then its back to just the 5 of us.
hubby and i do get worried. what if there's an emergency? what if one of us needs to go away for a night or two? what if we, or one of the boys, fall sick? it would help to have an extra pair of hands, i'm not denying that. handling 4 boys alone is no picnic. we have our back up plans, we've tested some of them, we've yet to test the others.
and more importantly, we pray. we pray that our decision is the best decision we have made for our family. in the future, we never know. when the boys start school, we never know. when the laundry gets neck-high, we never know. but for now, we are maidless...and loving it.
