Amani Is Five Months Old

october & november were busy months for us that i've forgotten how fast amani grows. one blink and she's about to wean. i'm all excited to get her first food ready - i've taken out the steamber/blender and will get it thoroughly cleaned, i've taken out the baby food recipe books, i've saved baby food recipe photos. her brothers are also doing countdown for her big milestone.

amani had her 5 months check-up on the day amir's upsr results came out, which meant the whole team was at the hospital, which meant super noisy and super hectic. amani now weighs a whopping 7kg, just a little bit more before she is triple her birth weight, which is the ideal weight for a baby once they reach a year old. she's super fast on that count then...

amani's still a bit behind on activeness. she refuses to be put on her tummy. she'd put her head up for a bit then bring it back down and start screaming to be turned over. i give in to her sometimes, other times i scold her and get her to stay in the position longer than she wants. she needs her exercise, this girl! having said that, she's slowly showing signs of turning over. the top half of her body has turned, now its the bottom half that needs to follow for a complete turn.

amani's very alert now. she follows movement of everyone around her. she's looking around for people when its all quiet. she would scream to be carried when the quietness get a bit too much for her.

like her elder siblings, amani is a creature of habit. she wakes up at the same time, naps at the same time, asks for her bottle at the same time and goes to bed at the same time. now she's sleeping slightly earlier but wakes up when we're about to sleep to ask for her bottle. she's filling up her cot halfway and filling up her new rocker almost completely. she's such a big baby compared to the ickle amani who came home after her 5-day stint at the hospital.

amani's laughing and talking a lot, interacting a lot with all of us. cant wait for her to join us and our hectic-ness.

Week 36 - Baby's Arrival

because of the long Raya leave, which means all of the doctors related to my delivery will be away - the gynae, the anesthetist and the pediatrician, my gynae and i planned the delivery properly. not too early so that at least the baby will be at a good weight and good age yet not too late so that she will be looked after by the pediatrician post-delivery. so we decided on the 20th, that would be the day the baby turns 36 weeks on the dot.

honestly, i was a bit sceptical about the date. yes, i love the fact that the delivery is brought forward and will be soon but i wasn't feeling any major labour signs except for the occasional but not strong contraction. will anything happen from that, i wasn't too sure.

hubby and i sent the boys and amira to damansara after iftar on monday. then we made our way to the a&e of damansara specialist hospital. admission didn't take too long and before we know it, i was unpacking in the room and getting ready to hooked up to the ctg machine to check the contraction. 30 minutes and no contraction. ok, i was all stressed up. i kept thinking i'll be wheeled into the OT for a c-sect, at this rate. it would be the second sleepless insight for me, i couldn't sleep the night before thinking about the delivery prep and thinking about amira away from us.

while for the previous deliveries i was sent to the labour room around 8-9 am, for this, i was asked to prepare myself at 6.30am. i don't mind the time, actually, i had enough time for subuh and solar hajat, hubby was wide awake after sahur, so there's really no harm in starting early. i was the first in the labour suite, the labour room was still locked. once in there, the nurse gave me enema, checked for dilation, hooked me to a drip and to the pitocin and asked me to wait for the anesthetist for the long-awaited epidural. for amira and for this delivery, i had butterflies (more like eagles) in my tummy thinking about epidural. but alhamdulillah, this was probably the best epidural shot i received out of the 6 times. it was quick and simple and not at all scary (yes, i was super scared).

before long my legs were numb and i was was having contraction every 2-3 minutes. those piton really for to work fast! last night i had nothing and now i was having constant contraction.

while the room was alive with commotion, the nurse walking around checking all the machines and stats, hubby was talking about the movie we switched on, i was shaking from the epidural effects, it suddenly felt weird. my heart was beating fast and i felt really hungry and thirsty and then i felt all confused and weak. i called out to hubby and said, i don't know what's going on but i don't feel good. he quickly called the nurses who came in, looked at the machine and moved me around the bed. they asked me to lay down on my left, propped a pillow behind me, gave me water to sip and did things to the machine.

before long, i felt much better and was able to talk again. hubby said it was a scary moment was my blood pressure fell down to 40 and i was pale. the nurses said the baby's heartbeat dropped and when i was moved on the bed, her heartbeat picked up again. that was undoubtedly a very scary moment.

once i was stabilized, hubby went back to the room to take a short nap and a shower. during hubby's absence, my gynae came to the labour room, she broke my water bag, and ensured me that it will be a lunchtime delivery as i've dilated to 5cm within the 3 hours of being in the labour room. when hubby came back, we just sat watching the movie on the telly and occasionally calling the boys and amira in damansara.

the next couple of hours passed by quickly. the anesthetist came in every now and then to check on the epidural, the nurses kept assuring that it would be soon and hubby and i kept looking at the ctg machine because we couldn't seem to see any contraction. when the nurse came in, we asked her why there was no contraction. she checked and said, ok…its time. err…ok, i wasn't ready actually. it was only 2 hours ago that i was 5cm dilated and now i was 9cm. they called my gynae who ran up the stairs from her clinic.

at 12.30pm, everyone was encouraging me to push but after 3 tries, my gynae said this requires vacuum as the baby's head was tilted, making her head diameter seem bigger than it is. well, asyraf seem to prayed a bit too hard for the baby to be born on the 20th like him, she also tilted her head like him. my gynae used kiwi vacuum to push the baby's head down so that i can push her out. took me 2 pushes and the baby was out at 12.54pm.

for the next 2 hours, we were in the labour room, bonding with the baby, eating, took pictures, updating the boys in damansara. the baby stats were taken and hubby recited the azan to her. then i was wheeled back to the room in the maternity ward while the baby was taken to the nursey to be cleaned and given hepatitis b shot and waited for the pediatrician to give her her first check-up.

while we waited for the pediatrician to come, hubby and i took a nap. i prepared myself to take my first step once the epidural wore off and hubby went to the pasar in front to get food for iftar and sahur. while i waited for hubby to return, the pediatrician came in, bearing some bad news. the baby's oxygen level was low - at 93%, anything below 95% for a baby is worrying - and she had to be monitored in the special care nursery overnight.

i was grateful to be able to rest the first night post-delivery but i was missing the baby. hubby wheeled me into the SCN to have a look at her, she was so very small, and we said good night and see you tomorrow to her.

the delivery was fast and quick and smooth, alhamdulillah but i was so very worried about the baby, and for the third night in a row, i didn't sleep to well.

Week 35 - Calendar-Watching

the latest appointment was nerve-wrecking. we were to see the baby's weight. whether my alternate days fasting had done its job in ensuring the baby is of a good weight to be delivered next week, as planned.

i have been trying to put on some of the baby's weight by consuming loads of milk (almost 3 boxes a day) and yogurt and eggs (if i dont fast. i'll only eat scrambled eggs during the day).

my two bodyguards are always keeping me company.

when i entered the doctor's office, and told her what i've been feeling - contraction, pain in my lower back and top of thighs, she said, that would probably mean the baby have started to go down but let's check to see if i'm right. so i went up on the bed to be scanned. alhamdulillah, the baby's weight shot up from 2.1kg 10 days ago, even exceeding our target 2.5kg and now weighs an estimated 2.7kg. yeay to the milk and eggs. the doctor said, based on this we can target around 2.8 - 2.9kg next week.

so she gave me the admission form and explained what will happen next week. i'm to be admitted after iftar on monday, so that early tuesday morning she can get everything started - pitocin to get the contraction started, epidural, and everything prepped for delivery. hopefully with this early start, the delivery wont be as long as amira's, as i was super tired delivering at 6pm.

for now she wants me to monitor the contraction, monitor any changes, any additional pre-labour signs and just to get ready for monday.

the last of the baby's laundry basket have been cleared. it was really sunny the past week, so i took advantage of the weather and did the load. towels, swaddling blanket, newly-arrived clothes, mittens and her baju raya washed and folded and kept.

i've marinated and froze food (chicken, beef & fish) for me to consume during confinement. i need to regularly top up veggies and potatoes and bread to go along with the frozen items. i've also stocked up on my cereals & milk for the month.

this weekend i'm just concentrating on the hospital and sleepover bags, preparing the baby cot, sterilising the bottles and slowly easing off the Ramadhan meals preparation.

so...just mere hours to go. i'm ready...i think.

Week 34 - Date's All Set

alhamdulillah. at the appointment today, we locked in the date of the delivery. as soon i sat down at her table, my gynae said...have we settled on 23 june? i was confused, when did we say 23? she said, i dont know...its on my notes. i haggled a bit - 23 june would be too closed to Raya and while i probably would be ok, spending Raya in the hospital, i'm not crazy about the idea of the boys and amira being with only their daddy. and i'm scared of jaundice and the fact that the pediatrician will also be on Raya leave.

so we bargained, i said that week is ok but not to close to raya, she said ok but make sure we hit 36 weeks and the baby reaches a good weight. so 36th week falls on 20 june and i have 2 weeks to up my protein intake so that the baby puts on at least another 400 grams (she weighs 2.1kg at today's check up). i've been asked to fast alternate days from tomorrow til the day of the delivery.

her face can't be clearly seen anymore, unlike the previous check-ups. the doctor said she's parked herself at the entrance but not yet engaged. i guess the sporadic tightening i've been feeling the past 2 weeks have been doing its job. the doctor said, good contractions will push your baby down further, so we're just waiting for those to make their appearances.

other than that, everything looks in order. my BP is normal, i lost a bit of weight because of the 11 days of fasting, tightening is good and should maintain or even increase in the next couple of weeks, the baby looks ready, apart from her weight.

i've settled my stuff today. all toiletries moved downstairs, extra t-shirts bought and kept in the downstairs bedroom, kain batiks and binding wrap washed, confinement toiletries bought and kept.

i'll be spending the next two weeks, monitoring the contractions, maintaining my sahur & iftar preparation for hubby and the boys, doing another load of the baby's clothes and preparing bags (hospital and sleepover bags) for me, hubby and the 5 eai/eas.

i hope i get stay on course with my terawikh and rendang mission and my fasting plans. i really dont want to miss more than necessary as i already would need to give 5 days of fasting a miss, from the delivery date to the last day of Ramadhan. insyaallah, let's hope all goes well.

Week 32 - Slowly Getting There

this is probably the final 4-week check up before i start my two-weekly check ups.

the last 4 weeks have been a bit hectic. with packed weekends of Raya shopping and football, packed weekdays of exams, a few public holidays here and there that we used to go out and settle many errands before i put up my white flag and say no more!

i had a bit of wheezing and nightly puffs the past month and i had asked for seretide from my gynae. the wheezing have disappeared and i sleep much better now. well, better if you dont count the times amira kicks and hits my head as she now sleeps on the same pillow as me. bye bye baby cot - you're now serving the new baby, bet amira says that.

the baby's been pretty quite the last couple of weeks. she was extremely active before and i could see every movement she made. but now she's mellowed down and i can only feel her kicks and punches inside my tummy instead of actually seeing them move under my skin.

the baby's growing really well. she's almost filling up the waterbag with a bit of space left for her to grow a bit more the last stretch of weeks. she's not yet engaged but i can feel tightening, particularly when i put my feet up after doing so many things. braxton hicks, the doctor confirmed. she asked if i wanted some meds to ease the contraction but i said, let's just roll with it. if she needs to start practising now, then we'll leave her to it.

and its obviously a she, from the scan that was done at the check up. she could be clearly seen yesterday, her spinc, head, features, arms and legs and everything else. another possible 4D scan...she's really tempting me. she's on the green track as her weight has been increasing per schedule. she weighed 1.8kg at the check up. let's hope she puts on the same every week for the next 4 weeks, then she'll be in the ideal weight area of 2.6kg.

on the home front, i washed 3 loads of baby clothes and put them nicely in the ikea containers i got a couple of months ago. i have just 1 more load for towels, swaddling blankets, cot bedsheet and the mittens i got earlier in the month. i'll probably do them the week before the baby is due.

as for me, i've settled purchasing all the toiletries and postnatal care items that i need. all that's left is just to relax, enjoy Ramadhan and i'll worry about the hospital bag after the next check up.

Week 28 - Getting There

so this was my third check up. cant believe i have only about another 3-4 more.

before the check up today, we paid a visit to the ICU. we prepared a gift basket for the doctors and nurses who took care of my mum during the 4 weeks she was admitted. it was a bit teary, looking at the empty icu bed no 3, where mummy slept up to a week ago.

after seeing the nurses, giving them our thanks and presenting them with the gift basket, i went down to my gynae's clinic while akmal & amira went for lunch with tiza. there was only 2 patients before me and it was a quick half-an-hour before they called my name.

my gynae asked how mummy was as she bumped into us when we were on the way to the ICU on the night mummy passed. i got a bit choked up, especially seeing how similar they were - the tudung, the english, the clothes they were.

then she asked me to lay down on so that we can check the baby. again, this time, the baby was so clear. the features were clear, the body, the bones, the position, all parts of the baby was clear. my gynae asked if i wanted to do another 4D scan as the baby was so clear but since i had one done at the last check up, we decided against it.

the baby now weighs approximately 1.2kg, on track the doctor said. we went through the dates again and the doctor said a week before Raya looks really nice, alhamdulillah, and the upcoming check ups can confirm the date better. hopefully all would go as plan, insyaAllah.

i've started buying a few things. toiletries mostly. and then some bottles, loads of diapers and containers to separate amira and the baby's things.

next month i'll be getting the drawers sorted and doing laundry before fasting month commences, when i would just want to sleep the afternoon away.

Week 24 - Passed the Half-way Mark

cant believe i'm already in my 20 plus week and i've only seen my gynae once! usually at this stage i'm already making my fifth or sixth appointment.

anyway, during my second appointment, the baby decided to show her existance clearly...very very clearly. she started making all kinds of moves when the doctor scanned. she was so clear and so close and when she started opening her mouth and moving her hands all over, my gynae and i quickly decided to get a 4D scan as it was rare to see a fetus so clear and so active.

first thing i thought was she looks like ariff. then i thought, no amira!!

ok, i'm not sure if its because i really want her to look like amira or because she really do.

we decided on a date which is good. i'm due 3 weeks after raya and during raya i would be 37 weeks, which looking back at the history of the 5 pregnancies, that's when i would start labour. so no, 37th week is not a good week as everyone would be on a long raya leave - my gynae, my anesthetist, the baby's pediatrician, everyone. so we decided on the week before, the 36th week. and just so happened, the monday of my 36th week was the 19th of the month - the same date as amira. so basically, we put that date down as potential date, insyaAllah.

its getting a bit exciting now dah we've set a date...and that the baby is showing herself to mummy.

Week 19 - You Guessed It!

well well well...here we are again. and again, here comes the tears and the screams and the disbelief and the denial, the very huge, large denial. i guessed in november, i was almost certain in december, i prayed i was wrong in january and i finally gave in in february.

when i went to see my gynae, i was already half-way through (half-way is not 20 weeks for me). i was laughed at, i was scolded and i was told i missed the first trimester blood test and i missed half-way of medication. ok, not a good start.

but there it was. the moment my gynae put the scan on my tummy, it was as obvious as the sun. head, spine, hands, legs, heartbeat...and its amira's little sister. hubby who was on the denial train with me shouted, i was hoping for another boy. eh...since when?!

yeah...due date is after raya. so here's to 20 more weeks!

Week 37 - The Arrival

almost everything about this pregnancy is somewhat out of my control. with the previous four, i could estimate and guess and expect, but not for this one. from the conception, to the tiredness i felt, to trying to handle four growing, schooling boys and be on top with my own health while managing them, to the gender, i found it hard to be in control.

i wanted to at least be able to choose the delivery date, if i was not able to control everything else. firstly it has to be after akmal's concert. secondly, i targeted the 20th as the date as i wanted to match asyraf's date, just like ariff matched amir's date. but my gynae was having none of that. she initially noted down the 15th as the delivery date but since it was before akmal's concert, we met in the middle, she said immediately after the concert and nothing later than that.

so there it was, the 19th was to be the delivery date and i had to control any signs, or rather be aware of signs, if there were any between the check-up on friday and the chosen delivery date on monday. my gynae advised me to rest and stay off my feet. can't believe she still don't know me after all these years, when have i been able to stay off my feet. i spent the weekend doing loads and loads of laundry, packing the hospital bags, packing the boys' bags for their stay with tssc, packing their school bags (although last minute decisions were made for schools to be closed from monday til thursday due to haze). and then there's hubby's birthday dinner and, of course, akmal's concert.

surprisingly i didn't feel the contraction increasing or feel any other indication, other than the regular, constant contraction. because of that, i wanted to put off the delivery for another day and still stick to the 20th. but hubby hinted (ok, so he told me direct to my face) that he had a footie match on the 20th, so again, out of my control, 19th it is.

with all bags packed and either kept in the car or already sent to damansara, and a load of laundry settled the night before, and the boys still in their jammies, we left home quite early on monday morning. the traffic wasn't too bad and we were at the hospital entrance shortly after 8am. hubby continued on to send the boys to tssc's house and i went to register and was brought up to the maternity ward.

my gynae was actually slightly behind us in the morning rush and was in my room just as i changed into the hospital gown. there wasn't time for the nurses to do a ctg scan but i told the gynae, the contraction is not often, i monitored about once in 10 minutes. i was skeptical it would actually happen today but once she broke the water bag, there was no turning back. contraction and epidural, here we come!

i was wheeled into the labour room immediately after my gynae left the room and waited for the anesthetist for the happydural to be given. hubby still had not arrived from sending the boys and i was getting scared. i actually had nightmares about the epidural this time. i knew i wanted it but i was petrified of the shot and the feeling that came immediately after.

alhamdulillah, hubby arrived just seconds before dr hilmi came and it was now or never. once the shot was given and the epidural was in, i said 'well…that wasn't so bad'. it was 10am and the waiting game begins. with ariff, i only had to wait til 11.30am, the other boys were delivered between 2-3pm. will this one be the same. going back to being out of control, i'm guessing it won't. amir and ariff were making non-stop calls, asking if the was baby out and what was taking the doctor so long.

the hours passed very slowly. hubby went to have breakfast and went to see his orthopaedic surgeon, i played township, switched on a quran recital app on my iPad, had late breakfast and then early (but light) lunch which hubby finished, he moved the car from the valet to the indoor parking lot, took pictures, slept, we did everything we could do with me being immobile, all wired and dripped and him sitting on the lone chair in the room. we were bored out of our minds. even the baby was bored and fell asleep around midday, the nurse had to come in to stimulate and wake her up (that scared me a bit, honestly). the contraction was still regular and constant, 10 minutes apart.

around 4.30pm, my gynae came in, looking tired. she had 3 operations during the day and i was her last patient. she was a bit confused why there was little progress the whole day and then said…ahhh…let's get the tonic in and the midwife quickly added another drip. dr hilmi came in and went out several times, telling us, its going to be a night baby. oh please no, i'm bored! the midwife took pity on me and said, let the drip do its job and she'll check in an hour's time.

at 5.30pm sharp, the midwife came in, checked the dilation and laughed, that's it, 9cm, let's get ready. i was so relieved. the doctor said she'll be up as soon as she finished praying and was in the room by 6pm. she briefed hubby and i of some changes the hospital had adopted over the years. she said the baby will not be cleaned and will have a longer skin-to-skin with the mother compared to my previous deliveries, where the boys were put on me long enough for the doctor to clean me up before they were taken to be cleaned, weighed and everything else. she also said hubby had the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord which he was happy to do.

the actual birth felt like hours, but it took me just 3 pushes (3 very tiring pushes! - i thought i would faint after the second one, i don't know where i found the will to push further) and lasted just 8 minutes before the baby slipped out and into the doctor's hands and immediately put on my stomach and the doctor gave hubby the cue to cut the umbilical cord (i wish there was a picture of this). my eyes immediately went to confirm the gender (sobs!) and then gave out a sudden shout of 'alhamdulillah!' when the doctor said 'goodness, she's so fair'.

it was a bit tense after that as the baby was breathing too loudly and had too much fluid in her lungs. the baby was taken to clear her airway and then put back on me several times, as the midwife was not satisfied with her lungs and breathing. she wasn't crying much and had wanted to sleep. once the doctor was settled, she bid us farewell. the baby was weighed and checked, hubby was alternating between taking pictures after pictures, entertaining the boys' screams and questions on facetime and carrying the baby while i just wanted a shower, a good meal and a long night's sleep.

a little after 8pm, i was wheeled back into the room, had dinner and waited for the numbness to wear off. alhamdulillah, even though it was a long labour, the longest out of the five, it was quite easy and smooth. the epidural started to wear off and i was able to walk not long after i got back to the room.

a couple hours after that, our new baby, was brought to the room for her first bonding session with her parents and torture her mummy with her hourly cries for feed and cuddle.