Travel with Us

just like my need to list and relist, store and restore, fold and refold, file and refile, i also have this occasional need to template and retemplate. first i attacked was our travelog. its easier to manage and have less entries. and for some reason, it was easier to decide the new template for the travelog.

i've been looking for a new template for this blog but cant seem to decide which i like most. so i went to the other blog first and tadaaaaa...the final result for eiseaitravel.blogspot.com

now i need a holiday just for retemplating...

As We Move On...

goodbye 2012

hello 2013

i only have one wish for 2013, that is the health (and then some wealth) and safety of my family, Amin.

And there are men who say: "Our Lord! Give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and defend us from the torment of the Fire!"
Dan di antara mereka pula ada yang (berdoa dengan) berkata: "Wahai Tuhan kami, berikanlah kami kebaikan di dunia dan kebaikan di akhirat, dan perliharalah kami dari azab neraka!"

Starting Over

so its been 11 weeks. 11 weeks since i packed up my stuff from level 34 and headed out of klcc (which i have only visited once since).

its not anything new. i think everyone knows this is what i wanted to be - a-stay-at-home mum. but we had to wait for the right moment before committing. and believe me, its a huge commitment. this year was the defining year, we had amir starting primary school, we learned the difficulty of time management when that happened, shouldering bigger work commitments, clearing off personal loans, it was really somewhat of a 'now or never' decision looming above us. so after many, many discussions, we decided that its finally time.

there was a lot of thought that went into the date of my resignation. i wanted to leave before the school holiday started, of course, so that i wouldn't need to send the boys to daycare during the school holiday. i could also use the time to prepare the school items. last year we didn't plan for amir's school items properly and that led to a lot of missing items and late purchases. i pushed the date a month before school holidays began because i had a lot of projects lined up while the boys were in school.

so, finally, coming back from the long Raya leave, i submitted my resignation letter. it was short and sweet, unlike the decision process that brought me to the point. from then on it was all a blur. 4 weeks came by and went away quite fast and before i knew it, it was almost the end of september.

after 11 weeks, i honestly believe this is the one of the most significant decision i've made in a long time. i do get the shakes when the bills come in, and the 'almost heart attack' come bill-paying time. but at least my boys are with me, at least i get to send them to school and pick them up everyday, at least i know what they are up to, at least i get to prepare their meals everyday, at least its me giving them a bath every morning and night, at least they get to come home before the sunsets everyday and they get to sleep in a bit in the morning before going to school (akmal used to leave home at 6.40am and get home at 8.00pm everyday - no child should have to keep that kind of schedule).

alhamdulillah, i am very thankful for being able to make this decision while the boys are young and while i am still blessed with health to take care of them. the salary that i forego, insyaallah, will come in other ways and  one should never stop praying for rezeki to come their way...

This Is It...For Now

after a week of googling for a good template - my previous ones were too "baby boy"ish, i.e. blue, cartoony - i finally found one that i like. i see a lot of really nice premade ones on the net but there's always something that's just not quite right. either too squashed up, or the picture can be better, or not enough column, or the colour's not it.

then i landed on this. i like the colour, i like the picture of the lady cooking, i like the compartments around the posts, and there's exactly 4 spaces at the bottom of the page for my four boys.

so i'll keep this...for now. maybe i should change the pizza picture, preferably before next Ramadhan.

next up...posts!!

A Whole New World

looking at the blog posting page after...what...a year? i can't remember when's my last entry. i know it was about akmal and probably the one before was about amir & asyraf's party. gosh...that was a year ago! posting looks easier...hence there should not be any excuse for lack of updates, is there?

i wanted to do a record...a record of least posts in a year, that is zero! but ah, KPI is not met.

i actually went to a couple of website hosting sites, to get a dot-com site for myself. but i didn't realize what it would take after payment was made. making payment was not easy, it cost hundreds! then to build and maintain and that's not even the posting. so i cancelled both and went back to good ol' blogspot. unless i can get a good samaritan out there who could do a dot-com site with 10% of what i paid, then that's another story.

for now, i'm changing the template...looking for a nice looking one, then i'll start posting and updating again.

p/s it feels real good to type! and on a macbook pro at that...hah!

Dear Bottles...

"Life wouldn’t be the same without you and all the memories you have given me".

you've been a part of our lives the past 6 years and we're oh-so-grateful. but its time to move forward and say goodbye, and "Sometimes you have to let go of someone to see if theres anything there to hold on to."




















Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. - The Wonder Years television show

Dreams = Obsession

i've got a few things i'm obsessed with - the boys (obviously), the eagle and the horse (tho slowly decreasing, that one), fan fiction (oh how i love thee). now i've got a new one. a bit late in my opinion. if i was inclined towards it back when it started, i would have a full range by now. but i wasnt and i think i'm a slow starter.

i love, love, love cath kidston. i love her bags, i love her accessories, i love her kitchenware but i'm not a big fan of her clothes. bit too flowery for my liking. bag takpe, baju not so much.

i've heard about her items but was never too in it. then walking towards the boarding gate at terminal 4 heathrow, i just detoured and went into her outlet and got myself a new day bag within 5 minutes. her shop was just so inviting among the plain black and white shops. i went in with ariff, showed him 2 bags, he chose one and we walked out. when i got home, i bought another 4 items onlines - a mini tote, another day bag, a carry all bag & a holiday bag. then 2 more items - blackberry covers. 1 is never enough. i would love to get her purses / wallets but they dont have enough picture slots.


now i'm dreaming of a cath kidston kitchen. white cabinets and bright, sunny kitchenware.


i especially want her mini dot collections - the handbags and the dinner wares.

Baby Stuff

i have a lot of help around the house. not a helper aka maid aka bibik. but help in terms of baby stuff. i love looking out for things that would be of a help with the boys, i know i buy more than normal malaysian parents would.

a large number of malaysian parents still use the 'my mother didnt have this when she raised me' phrase and shy away from a lot of things in the market. well, if these things were available when your mother was raising you, she'd prolly buy them too. plus most of us use things our parents didnt, lets see if one could survive without the handphones, laptops, ipods and ipads. so dont compare - live in the now.

back to the matter at hand, i depend on quite a number of these things heavily. because of some of them, my children are kept occupied and i can run the house without assistance of a maid and i'm proud to say that my house is more well-kept than some houses with 2 maids or than some houses with 1 or 2 kids - all because my children have their 'space'.

but now the boys have all grown, more specifically, outgrown the baby things i bought. i have started letting go most of the things that i used when the boys were younger. out of the lot, only 2 are still in use far beyond their "useable" years - the cot and the changing table. i initially thought they'll be in use until akmal reaches 2 years old but it looks like he (and his parents) are still attached to them.
















we've said goodbye to the rest - the baby carrier, exersaucer, kicker, harness, playpen, bumbo, aquarium, sling, bathtub, cot mobile, bouncers, the flat baby pillow, the baby comforter set, high chair, twin stollers, the blue buggy, the orange stoller, the blue car seat and orange car seat (the last 2 items could still be in use if not for asyraf). thank you for being part of our family. your help will always be remembered and treasured.














the current buggies (with buggy boards) & car seats are also still around. i dont know when we'll let go of them. as long as they still play a role in our daily life, they'll still be around.

Career Progression

i want to be a housewife. that's not a state secret. i've always said that and i'm still saying that, i've never changed my mind. when the time is right, i will gladly leave the golden triangle, leave the 830-530 (yeah right!) life with a big smile on my face screaming 'so long, farewell' to the corporate slaves.

there are people who think i dont mean it, there are people who think i would think differently, there are people who think i've lost my marbles. but eh...its ok. at least i'll be at home, surfing the channels, making good home-cooked food for my boys, and i'll do it with a no one breathing down my neck!

i get comments like, you'll never have time to yourself. ok, first thing's first. when i stop working to be a housewife, i'll be the only one who stops going to work. the boys wont. amir & asyraf will still be in school until after their agama class ends and ariff & akmal will still be in daycare until evening. no change in that, thank you very much. so who is going to occupy my time until all the boys are picked up...no one! so that comment certainly does not apply to me.

i also wont be indulging in a lot of cleaning. general simple cleaning, yes, like the normal sweeping, normal washing the loo, normal cleaning the kitchen. normal stuff like that. not difficult and not time consuming and not heavy at all.

what i would be doing as a housewife is simple. i will keep my house in order and still hang on to my belief of having no maid in the house. i will encourage my boys to go to school and daycare and hang on to my belief that they are better off in daycare (i am pro-daycare all the way!). i will ensure i have good home-cooked meals when my boys come home from school everyday - and cooking is not a big hassle to me, takat masak sekali sehari, what is that! and then, of course, with school-going age children, one thing that will be in my job description would be chaffeur. that, to me, is not a big deal, especially if the classes and our home is not far apart.

like i said, i plan. i plan for (almost) every single thing that i do so its really not difficult to comprehend that i would plan for something as big as leaving a career and being unemployed and staying at home full time. insyaallah, when the time comes it wont be something i regret or something i dont enjoy doing or a decision i would like to turn around.

so who has dreams of being a housewife, lets jom!

Work At Home

still praying the real dream will materialise in the very near future (no pressure to anyone) but for now, this is the closest i can get to it.




















its wonderful being the only non-male in the house.

Errrr...

...is how i'm feeling at the moment. i've finally completed the traveling booklet. happy is what i'm feeling, well yeah, but at the same time, i'm anxious, i'm scared. this would be the first time hubby and i would be taking the 4 boys so far on our own. the last holiday we went to was a local holiday. perth and gold coast dont count as we had only amir & asyraf then. plus my sisters went with us.

so with 4 boys in tow, hubby and i need to be prepared. we cant have the 'so where to now...' conversation or the 'what to have for lunch...' question. with the weather being so cold and us being out for hours each day, we'd have to make things as smooth as possible. if not there would be tears and screams and majorly annoyed parents.

so this is where my booklet comes in. my blood, sweat and tears for one year. and frankly, i'm pretty darn happy with my work. i just hope we stick to what has been planned...















siap divider lagi haha...

Update

i dont really like updating the look of my blog. i do like the new look every now and then. but being my usual neurotic self, i feel like editing all my previous entries since all the text and pictures are jumbled up. argh...stressness to the max!


on a brighter note, we've booked everything we can for this trip - the stadium tours, the hotels, the trains, buses, entry tickets. the only pending item is the airport transfer from heathrow to the city centre. other than that, its just tearing out the daily calendar.


this weekend will be a weekend of storing old clothes and preparation for the boys' new school year. ah...and maybe i'll edit the jumbled entries then too.

Remembering...

i didnt know whether i wanted to write this down. one on hand, i dont want to remember. but i also wanted to release what i experienced, hoping by releasing i can let go. i also wanted to write this down for hubby, who cant remember a single thing that happened.

to me, it started on tuesday morning at about 6:50am. for hubby it probably started the night before, he had a headache and took some painkillers. he said the headache didnt go away and the next morning he felt dizzy. anyway, for me the whole episode started when i walked into the room to carry akmal out of his cot. i wanted to bring him down earlier than the rest because he had to take his augmentin. i looked at hubby performing his subuh prayers. for some reason, i felt that his tahiyyat akhir was a bit long. i didnt question him. maybe he read wrongly and had to repeat. i didnt want to pursue it further. we are always in a rush in the morning. but i should have because hubby did say he blacked out a bit while performing his prayers - but then the realisation always come up after things happen.

then everything was like normal. we kept calling out the boys to hurry up, walk down properly, wear your shoes, get in the car. that's our usual conversation every morning. after strapping the boys in their car seats, hubby would start the car. i would lock the door, arm the house alarm and open the gate. our auto gate is faulty at the moment, so i would have to manually open one side. then i'd stand next to it while hubby drives out and close the gate, pushing the other side.

it was 6:58am. everything was like normal. hubby and i had a short conversation...
hubby: i pening lah, i nak pegi clinic kejap lagi
me: ngapa?
hubby: entah...mcm berat skit, blur skit
me: baik u pegi jumpa dr azmi u kat dsh
hubby: hmmm...

those few words took place while we drove in front of my mydin, towards petronas. then hubby stopped at the junction and took right. as we drove passed petronas the car kind of slowed down, i looked at hubby but he looked ok. he took the roundabout fine. after the roundabout, as we drove passed the 1st jelutong shops under construction, i felt hubby look at me. i turned to look at him but he was slowly turning his head to face front. at that moment, he looked like he was not focusing on the road but my first thoughts was he saw a mosquito. he had that look...that look one has when they're focused on a flying mosquito and about to attack it. it sounds funny...i didnt know it was serious.

anyway, when i felt he was looking for mosquito i started to feel weird. how come i didnt see the mosquito. i tried to squint and look for it, eh takde pun nyamuk. then i saw him take his hands away from the steering wheel. exactly like one would when he's about to well...pukul a mosquito. i was still looking for it. at this moment, the car was slowing down. then all of the sudden, out of nowhere...god, i cant even write this...out of nowhere, hubby clenched his hands (i saw that first because i was focused on his hands) then his turned his face upwards like he's looking at the sky and let out a scream. i cant ever, ever forget that scream. it was like he's in pain, he's so full of anguish...macam kena dera. i started to lift myself of my seat. i slapped his face, i called out his name...babe, bangun babe. i started screaming for him to wake up to stop the car. i knew he was having a seizure. i have prepared myself since the day we got married to face this. but my mental preparation went down the drain because it happened in the car...while the car was running. if only...

anyway, i was halfway out of my seat. i slapped his face, then his whole body went stiff and unfortunately his feet pressed the accelerator down. the slowing down car went into overdrive. the boys were stunned. they didnt say anything but they looked extremely in fear. i blocked them out. all i want at that moment, was to stop the car. if the car stopped i can focus on hubby. i shoved my left fingers into his mouth. that's about all i can do for hubby now, i dont want him to bite on his tongue. then my right hand tried to push his leg off the pedal...dah keras, i cant. i put the gear in neutral and it made a rough sound, i got scared. then i put it back in drive. the car continued to speed forward.

i gave up on trying to stop it. hubby's leg was totally pressing down the pedal. and as long as he's in seizure i cant get it off. i played with the steering wheel. i kept it off the left side, since i was on the left. but i cant do much, i couldnt control the car with my fingers being bitten down. i just prayed...please dont turn turtle, please dont hit anything, please no airbag. the car jumped over a huge patch of green (which turned out not a smooth patch but has ups and downs and drains even). then it dropped back onto the street and then jumped again onto green and slid down into a ditch. it finally stopped on lump of grass (is that the word...lump - its like a slope-ish). the car was tilting to the right, the right side of the car was in a patch of water.

immediately i saw faces at my window, there were 3 guys knocking on the door. i stretched my body to unlock the car. they tried to get hubby out. i just screamed 'jari saya...jari saya. tolong bawak keluar jari saya dulu' hubby was biting on it...it was very painful. i think one of the guys push hubby face upwards and i slowly slid my fingers out. then i unbuckle the seat belt and said 'tolong tengok dia...panggil nama dia, panggil nama dia, panggil dia syam' i was mumbling, i cant remember what i said. then i quickly jumped out of the car. my side was higher then hubby's side. i saw a few more people trying to get the boys out. akmal started crying. amir was crying. asyraf and ariff were just stunned. i could not handle amir's cries. he kept screaming 'daddyyyyy...daddyyyy'. he couldnt see hubby as he sat 2 rows behind him but his first thoughts was for his father. maybe because he couldnt hear hubby say anything, maybe he wanted hubby to jump out, be the superhero and carry all 5 of us out. maybe he felt that...that was what i was feeling. its not supposed to be me trying to keep this family together, its supposed to be hubby doing that. i couldnt handle it. i couldnt handle being strong for the boys.

the first guy took out akmal on his car seat. i just said 'saya nak anak saya...letak krusi tu balik. saya nak angkat dia'. he asked again if i was sure, sure that i didnt want the car seat. i screamed back, saya nak pegang dia. i wanted to hold on to my baby. i wanted to make sure he's still with me. then i shouted 'babies...anak-anak mummy semua pakai shoes ok, anak-anak mummy keluar ikut mummy ok'. i said that again and again. they were just shocked. i looked at the men trying to wake hubby up. there were about 5 of them. i remember 3 faces clearly. then i ran to the edge of the slope and walked up with akmal in my hands. one of the guys trying to wake hubby up shouted...get into my car and pointed to a wira accross the street. slowly the boys too were carried up the slope and ushered into the car. asyraf at the end most, next to ariff. both sitting down quietly still very much in shocked. amir was crying, he kept asking 'mana daddy amir, daddy amir dah mati ke?' at that moment, the thought really did cross my mind. i dont want my beloved hubby to leave us. my heart was just praying, god...bring him back to us, we need him, i need him, the boys need him.

i called my boss...i stumbled on my words. i just said i cant come in to work, my hubby had a fit, we had an accident. she asked me a few questions. i couldnt answer. then i called my sister. i couldnt get through. i called my dad but couldnt get through. in 30 seconds, my dad called me back. i tried to sound normal. i just said we were in an accident, i need my sister to get here. he tried to sound normal but i know he was worried (tiza verified that later at the hospital). during the phone calls, the guys who were helping hubby kept shouting...dia dah sedar...dia dah sedar. i couldnt say my prayer of thanks, i was numb. i saw from the car across the street that he was still stiff. i kept asking 'dia dah cakap ke, dia dah sedar ke'. i told them 'panggil nama dia, jangan terkejutkan dia'. then i dialled zu. she answered on the 3rd ring and once i heard her voice, the hysteria in me surfaced. i cried and cried and cried. i heard zu calling my name and i just cried out 'zuuuuu...anak i, anak i. they're so small, i dont want to lose them'. i think i scared her off. i dont know what i said then and i dont know what she said. i put down the phone and tried to calm amir down. he was still calling for his daddy, he kept asking if 'daddy amir mati ke?'. i saw hubby moved. every now and then his lifted his head. the guys slowly walked away from the car. some ran to the slope, saying, 'dia ok...dia ok'. some asked where we stayed. some asked what happened. my ears picked up a statement one of the passer-by made 'aku nampak kereta tu melayang'.

the next thing i know i saw hubby trying to walk over the hand brake and the glasses compartment. he walked out from the car through akmal's door. then the guys helped him walk towards the slope and up into the car we were in. his face was white his eyes were round and he looked tired and confused. the opened the door next to asyraf and sat him down. hubby was asking so many questions - what happened, who are they, why are we here. an elderly guy advised me not to answer afraid that it would freak hubby out. i then focused on the car. i asked for help to take the boys' bags out, hubby's bag, the house keys, our smart tag. luckily we didnt have many things in there. then i asked for the car keys. they said they couldnt take it out. i got scared. i dont want to leave the car unlocked and running (was it running...i dont know). i passed akmal to hubby and jumped back down into the ditch. they called out...kak, tak payah. i tried to take the keys out, i couldnt. then for some reason (i still dont know why) i looked at the gear, the car was still in drive. i put it to park and switch off the car and took out the keys. how did i know how to do that??!!

i locked the car, climbed back up. i looked around at the faces of the good samaritan who helped us and just said 'thank you...thank you semua.' i didnt know what to do then but a couple of guys (including the owner of the car the boys were in) just ushered me into the car. he then drove us back home.

my sister called saying she was on her way. we brought the boys in, brought the bags in, took hubby in. i had a lot of phone calls, tens of sms-es. i sat everyone down in the tv room downstairs. i ran around like a headless chicken. i wanted to prepare the boys' bags for an overnight stay in the school. i wanted to prepare clothes for hubby - i decided that he should be admitted. i changed my clothes, brought down a change of clothes for hubby. my sisters came not to long after that. by 7:40am they were in my house. i cant believe everything happened in just 35 minutes. our lives totally took a dive and was shaken and was thrown back into our faces in just 35 minutes.

i cried to hubby...i pleaded for him to take his pills, i asked him to look at the boys and promise he'd never miss a pill again. i cried and he got scared. i shouldnt have said it then but i wanted him to realise the severity of the situation. my sister went back to the scene to take the boys' car seats (i cant stress on the importance of car seats enough) and take anything she could grab. hubby's colleague came by and kept him company while i ran trying to put everything together. i broke down a few times. i broke down in front of my sisters, i broke down in front of hubby (who kept calling me to hug him), i broke down with amir.

we sent the 3 boys to school, filled the teachers on what had happened. we got to the a&e at 9:30am. zu, fidah, watie and andy met us at the there. my dad came as well. hubby was looked at and admitted for observation. i was given a tetanus shot because hubby bit me quite bad. amir was cleaned the bumps and bruises he sustained on his face. hubby too had a bump on his forehead. i think he hit the steering wheel.

the whole day passed by quickly. we waited for the neurologist to make his rounds. we waited for hubby to move to a single room. once all that was done, i took amir home to get a change of clothes. i got the chills as i entered our house. it dawned on me that as we shouted for the boys to wear their shoes, as i locked the door this morning that we might not have returned. i was in the house for only half an hour. i didnt want to be in there longer without my boys...without hubby.

once we have calmed down from the whole day's event we started feeling aches and pains. we suffered whiplash. amir was coughing and wheezing. he was given the nebuliser by his pead. hubby did a brain wave scan the next day and there was no abnormality in the reading.

its been 58 hours since it happened. we've brought the boys home, we've sent the clothes to the laundry, we've unpacked from the hospital stay, we've made our police report and submitted the papers for insurance claims. its been 58 hours but it feels like it just happened. i cry so many times. i cried at 7am for the past 2 days. i cried when i saw my boys for the first time. i cried thinking of the car. i cried whenever i passed the accident scene. my eyes are swollen from crying. i get the shivers, i feel uncomfortable, i feel unease, i feel incomplete, i feel scared, i feel lost, i feel glad, i feel thankful, i feel blessed, i feel looked after, i feel cherished.

i cant believe the reaction i got from my family and friends. i cant believe the amount of people saying they wanted to give me a hug. i cant believe how much i want my family protected. i cant believe how wonderful the teachers have been, how much they care for the boys. i cant believe i have so much tears...i cant believe i could release so much tears, i thought i'd be dehydrated.

to my family and friends and...thank you. thank you for your words, your thoughts, your sms-es, messages, emails, gifts, hugs, your help, your concern, your calls, your comments in the last entry. its so wonderful to know we have a wonderful support system. i wouldnt have made it without you.

to my beloved, beloved hubby - please take your pills, please rest, please think of how much we love you, how much we need you.

to my amir iskandar - my lovely boy. my best friend, my companion for the past 3 days. he's cried when i cried, laughed when i laughed. he was just there when i needed someone to talk to.

to my asyraf izzudddin, my ariff iqhwan and my akmal izzat - mummy will do everything to make sure you're always protected. i hope you'll get over this soon because i dont want you to feel as i do.

Another Episode

it happened a year and a half ago. a year and a half ago it happened at a safe place - at home. this time, it wasnt safe. hubby had his epileptic fit again. this time - while driving, while all 6 of us were in the car. it could have been 6 of us becoming none of us.

but it didnt, alhamdulillah. no one was injured, alhamdulillah. it happened near home and not on nkve - alhamdulillah. it happened when i was there and not hubby alone, alhamdulillah. i have lots of things to be thankful for. but i have lots of things in my mind. lots of things we have to think about. lots of things etched in our heads. i remember hubby screaming and looking up to the sky, his hands clenched. i remember the boys crying with fear in their eyes. i remember trying to stop hubby from biting his tongue, remember trying to stop the car, playing with the gear, pushing hubby's feet awat from the accelerator. i remember but i dont want to.

it happened in mere 30 seconds but the memory scares me to my very soul. amir remembers and he gets scared. ariff is scared of car rides. hubby was out for 10 full minutes. hubby cant remember a single thing. he only remember hearing a voice asking - do you want to stay or do you want to go back. he fought to go back.

i got the chills entering our home without hubby, without the boys, with only amir. i dont want it to be that way...not yet, we're not ready.

for now, we learn and we move on. its scary to think of what could have been, its frustrating to think of what if. its every single emotion screaming out from me but we need to be strong and move on. for now, we are car-less. i get weepy seeing pictures of our beloved car. we love that car. i wonder what it feels now. i'm sorry car...we'll get you back soon, insyaallah.

thank you, though, to those who helped and prayed for us and asked how we are. thanks to my 2 sisters, my dear daddy, the ER team (watie, andy, fidah, shareefa), to zu for just hearing me cry and cry and cry, to azrul for being syam's drip partner. thanks to all who called and sms-ed and commented on my status. i do appreciate all your smallest 'take care's to your biggest hugs.

That Other Work

i dont blog about work (the income earning one) much. why? cos its just work. dont get me wrong, i dont hate my 'career'. i do like working. with so many boys at home, going to work gives me the chance to 'get away from it all', just like going home gives me a chance to forget about work. i get a lot of comments about me not using my hard-earned education seeing that i went back to the working world as an administrative employee. they feel i should be a high-flying go getter. just because i have this paper titled 'master of science'.

sigh...again...siggghhhhhhhhhh. honestly, does it really matter? i like my job. i like doing filing. i like faxing. i like doing claims for people, keying in their leave, preparing their travel documents, preparing for events. i like. and i'm capable. isnt that more important. isnt that better than having approprite qualification for that kind of work but dont enjoy it and not capable.

i see people working late, working on weekends and i'm so not interested to be part of the crowd. i come in at 8:30am, i work, i go home at 5:30pm (ok...sometimes i do work late). that's it. i have time to fold the clothes, i have time to do the laundry, i have time to scream at my kids and i'm in bed in 9:30pm. i dont need to come in on weekends, i dont need to travel outstation, i dont need to entertain e-mails at 2am. great? heck yes...

after 4 years working in this company, i've been promoted once. it was a surprise, i wasnt expecting it. i seriously did not think much about climbing the corporate ladder. i do work, i do pretty good work and i go home. if people want to reward me, i'm ok with it. if not, its ok. i dont go around thinking 'i deserve this...i have the qualifications...i should be recognised'. alah relax lah. naik, naik...tak naik, takpe. life goes on. its just work, people.

i was one of the midnight oil burner group. i used to stay at the office til 10, 11pm. i've been one of those who come in before the sun rises and go home after the sun sets. i've done the 'working for 7 days a week, 30 days a month' song. that was before i had amir. now with asyraf, ariff and akmal to the list, i cant ever imagine doing the same. when i started planning for a family with hubby, we decided that he should be the one doing the climbing. he was open to the idea of having a stay-at-home wife (provided the ker-ching coming in was sufficient) and i loved the idea of stay-at-home mom. so i took a step back and hubby jumped double time. insyaallah, when he gives me the green light, i'll print the letter.

this kind of entry comes up every so often. usually once a year around may. why...cos that's B time hehehe. to K, thank you for the B and the L and especially the MB (what's that...the pmcare thingy lah).

my kawan for breakfast, lunch and kalau boleh, dinner. sibuk nak pregnant at the same time...













the people of tmo...honestly, the best department there is (pre-2009, that is)















eas of tmo enjoying our secretary's week luncheon













happening event of L37 - the potluck

new year, new department, new role, new place...