Week 6 - Expect The Unexpected

after 6 years, a few scares and hundreds of monthly 'alhamdulillah', the unexpected came. i put it off, for days. i've always been quite in-tuned with my body so i suspected but i put it off. something's wrong, definitely something's wrong, i told myself. i did not tell anyone for a couple of weeks, not even hubby. saying it outloud makes it real and i was not ready for it to be real.

after a couple of weeks, i couldn't handle it any longer and told akmal. i didn't actually tell him, i asked him to pray it wasn't what i suspected. so we prayed together. after 2 saturdays, i made him say the prayer outloud to hubby. for him to know what i'm suspecting. and then i cried.

and i cried and i cried and i cried.

i still waited to do tests. i did the first a week after. either i really didn't see the lines or i'm on a big time denial mission.

i did another test 4 days after that. ok…no words necessary beyond that point.